How To Improve Self Esteem In Children

Self Esteem Activities For Kids

Our childhood experiences and how people treat us influence our level of self esteem.

Once we realize this, it is best to adjust how we treat children, especially our own, so that they can build self esteem and build confidence as they grow up. This will serve them well in the teen and adult years.

How important is it? Think about it – most of us spend our adulthood recovering from our childhood upbringing and how we were treated by others.

Certainly you can work on your level of confidence and self esteem as an adult, however it would be so much nicer if children could start out right. With high self esteem and confidence.

So how to improve self esteem in children? I will answer that and sprinkle in some self esteem activities for kids:

* Love your children unconditionally. It is their actions that you may find displeasing. Let them know that. Children need to know that they are supported and that they are adequate as they are.

* Let your children have some control of things, age appropriate of course.

When I go to the store and see small children dressed in crazy outfits, such as a little girl wearing a tutu over a miss matched top and pants, I just smile.

This child got to choose her clothes for the day. She is going to feel a greater level of control because she can make a few choices for herself and that is empowering and will build self esteem.

Not to say that you could not pick out several clothing options for the child to choose from, which will begin to guide them as to what goes together and what does not… the child still got to pick. Compliment them if at all possible.


Help your child to think ahead, set goals and then reach them.

For a small child, it may be planting a bean, watching it grow and then harvesting. You then cook the beans in something and all enjoy, praising the child of course for the effort and success. Build confidence in a child, and just like a seed, it will grow as time goes on.

For an older child it may be something like getting on the basketball team. Ask them to make a plan of all the steps that would be needed to reach the goal. Again praise your child for the effort of going through the steps whether he/she gets on the team.

If there is failure, ask what can be learned from the experience. What could be done differently next time or in a similar circumstance. Show them that failures are just learning experiences. That having a failure does not make them a bad person.

* Teach your child to accomplish new things. This teaches them that they are capable and builds confidence and self-esteem.

It does not have to be hard, maybe just tie their shoes or make their bed. Or if older, make dinner or plant a flower bed and take care of it.

* Compliment your child often. Give them praise. It reinforces good behavior and helps them feel better about themselves.

If you have a problem child, start watching for things you can compliment and praise. It often will change their feelings about themselves and others, over time.

* Don’t hold back from giving your child a few chores. Age appropriate chores will teach your child self discipline. Certainly they are going to need the training for when they grow up and are on their own in how to do things.

* Avoid shaming your child, whether in front of others or in private. Teach them that the behavior was not acceptable, it is not that they are a bad person.

* If you are working on family issues or the budget, include your child. Listen to his/her opinion. Sometimes you will get a whole new perspective that is helpful. Even if you do not, this trains them for adulthood and the need to communicate and work on issues and budgets.

* Actions speak louder than words. Set an example both with your words and actions. Your children are watching you.

This includes them seeing that you have confidence and self esteem.

When children see that parents are following their own advice, the child feels more confident to follow in the parent’s foot steps.

* Give your child attention. Ignoring a child gives the message they do not matter. This leads to feelings of low self worth and a lack of confidence.

Even worse, studies have been done with Brain Scans that show that a neglected and abused baby or toddler’s brain does not develop properly. The Brain was smaller than normal. Click here to read about this.

If your child speaks to you, look at them. You will want them to look at you when you speak to them, so it is good training. If you continue to look at the tv or magazine during the conversation, it gives the child the idea that the object is more important than they are.

* Encourage your child. Children need a lot of encouragement and support.

So many of children’s behavioral issues are tied in with a lack of self confidence and not getting enough attention and training. In the end, if a child feels accepted, respected, loved and forgiven, they will form much better thoughts and feelings that will serve them well in adulthood.

The other thing that needs addressed with Children is their diet. Many are not getting the nutrition they need in the diet they are eating.  This can lead to low moods and depression. Please refer to my article on Mood Boosters.

Start today using these thoughts on how to improve self esteem in children and self esteem activities for kids. It is a great gift to your children and will help them be happy and successful.